We desperately need a new blueprint for human relationships to replace the current arrangement which has prevailed during the last five thousand years. We will need to discard the whole panoply of unrealistic expectations and unfounded assumptions upon which traditional marriage continues to exist as a conceptual ideal. Even with the relatively new emphasis on "romantic love" as a prerequisite for marriage, it does not provide lasting conditions for female sexual desire, nor does it ensure commitment. Our culture is already in the process of change, partly due to the re-emergence of feminine values of cooperation, nurturing and sensual pleasure. In facing new times, we must find a more flexible model.
We can choose new and diverse options that take into account the radical social, psychological, and spiritual changes in the new millennium. Since men and women in conflict cause serious damage to their individual psyches, their families, and their sexuality, there are significant benefits in balancing the equation of male and female energy in relationships. If we want sexier relationships, we must not limit each other’s sexual expression. It no longer makes sense to deny the spiritual dimension of our sexuality, as if we had "lower," physical urges and "higher," spiritual functions, disconnected from the body. Since sexual energy is the source of our connection to the Life Force, the benefits to physical, emotional, and mental health are obvious. Exploration of spiritual dimensions of sex would increase women’s interest.
There exists a growing number of couples exploring expanded sexuality and more satisfying sexual relationships. The change required involves partners negotiating. It takes an application of communication skills that allow for both male and female needs, interweaving sensual and sexual activities from each other’s desires. There would be room for exploration of new behavior, in a fun-filled, mutually satisfying adventure. When sex is well negotiated, and the sexual equation is balanced, relationships will take whatever creative form both partners choose, based on mutual trust and understanding.
The playful child in all of us can discover new delights, as long as there is a sense of permission and safety. Boredom from repetitive sexual patterns, rigidly followed, will be replaced by the exploration of uncharted territory. It will include opening to a wider range of sexual choices. There will be plenty of discussion, and feedback, keeping an experimental attitude. Each couple would create their own rules, incorporating growth into their system. Many experiences may harness the qualities of sexuality that are both healing and consciousness expanding. There is truly an endless supply of loving sexual energy. Consequently, there are unlimited playful moments, pleasure and contentment, more than most of us can ever imagine. Let us hope we can create such new and more satisfactory ways to express adult sexual love in this new millennium.
